Let’s be honest here. It can be incredibly uncomfortable, especially as a new traveller, when you have no idea what to expect from a host. You’ve never met this person. You’re in a new country. The list can be made like a shopping list in a store of things to avoid. Plainly… it can be scary a time or two.
I’ve met surfers (couchsurfers that is) that are comfortable in some of the most awkward situations, and then I’ve also met travellers who simply refused to couchsurf. Then there is the occasional “I’m a guy, people don’t seem to want to host me”, I’ll save that for another post.
Truth be told, we all have our boundaries of what we are comfortable with. You have to know yours before you even start looking for a host or else you may find yourself in a situation that paralyzes future travel decisions.
If you know your limits, and follow precautions when picking a host, but you find yourself in any type of situation, here are a few key things to remember:
- When your host cancels last minute:
This is always possible with any host. When you are in a smaller city that has no-to limited wifi, or you arrived late and can’t get ahold of the host, you might start to worry.
Best thing to do is to do–
Before arriving in a new locale- have 2-3 hostels saved on your phone- either address or directions (screenshot is amazing).
It doesn’t matter if you have a host lined up. You have to know, and be able to find, a place to stay if something goes south with whatever overnight situation you’ve established.
2. When you first get to a new place:
Check out where you will be sleeping. Set a few boundaries if you feel like you need to. Talk to your host about what is off limits both for you, and for your host to make sure you don’t offend your host and that they don’t cross your boundaries.
All of my hosts have given me a spare set of keys so I can come and go as I please. This adds a level of security, and I simply wouldn’t stay with anyone that wouldn’t offer me such security. One host even gave me a local cheap cell phone to use during my stay.
*It is always a good idea to meet your host in a public and crowded place that’s easy to find.
3. When your host starts to creep you out:
With one of my first couchsurfing experiences I was creeped out by a host. I was so freaked that I started checking the room for hidden cameras. Yeah, it was to that extent. It was getting late too and I knew I’d have a hard time finding a place to go. Not to mention it was pouring rain.
Best thing to do-
If you’re uncomfortable with a host. If they advance on you, offend you, place awkward expectations on you…. Or really any other reason that makes you want to leave- just leave.
If you’ve followed tip 1 then you have a few places saved on your phone for emergencies. But if you feel unable to leave at the moment because of weather conditions, exhaustion, and so on…
Sleep with extra clothes on.
If you’re in a separate room and can close a door, do so, even just to separate yourself and give yourself some privacy if you feel you need to.
Express your concerns, limits, or discomfort.
Call someone, a friend or family member. Even just to hear a familiar and calming voice.
If you truly feel you are in danger, or you feel by their comments- or even by a weird vibe, that they might try something- leave absolutely. There is no reason to stay really. You can find somewhere else to stay whether it means checking into a hostel, hotel, another couchsurfer’s place, or sleeping in a train station. I’d rather feel comfortable with where I am staying.
4. If you disappear:
The first thing I always did after confirming with a host that I’d be staying there. I’d screenshot the host’s profile, along with their address that they send me either through Whatsapp or the Couchsurfing app, along with their headshot from their profile or Facebook page. Then I would email that to my 1-2 people that I knew and trusted from home.
I also did this with every hostel I stayed as well. For my own safety. This was so my family knew where I was, and if something ever happened to me, they’d at least know whereabouts I was last.
Always follow your gut.
This post isn’t to scare you away from couchsurfing. It’s to make you prepare and rational about the decisions you make when you may need to make them. Do not feel obligated to stay anywhere. Luckily out of all 13 countries in Europe that I stayed in, I only encountered 1 host that I felt jeopardized by staying with. This led me to barricading the bedroom door for the night and leaving in the morning.
I greatly gained from and enjoyed my couchsurfing experiences. It allowed me to gain international perspective from a local, see festivals, customs, and sites from a different perspective. There were many things that I would have never done, or even known about had it not been for my hosts.
The point of couchsurfing is to make friends around the world. Develop a network. Create memorable moments and get your out of your shell. My trip wouldn’t have been the same without my hosts. But it would have been a different experience had I not made safety and security a priority.
(photo taken by a couchsurfing host in Prague that told me about, and took me to the Signal festival, which I wouldn’t have known about without him)
The Write Destination 